Forever Final Fantasy! No Need For Pocky!
by Akira Majere
Summary: Sephiroth is an pervert, Kuja is Micheal Jackson, Rinoa summons a lawyer, Cloud is insane, Squall attacks an innocent bunny, and Selphie teases everyone... Doesn't make sense? Good. Read.


In a video game that be found in almost every gamer's house is where our story begins. A story of betrayal, war... and love to never be. WAIT! That's too much of rip off of the FFVII comerical! We need something ORIGNAL!... Okay, we are trying this again!...  
  
::ahem:: A very ghetto household in a back of someone's fiction mind lived several people from several games. Quina, Kuja and his darling thong from FFIX- HELL YEAH! DO THAT SEXY DANCE!; Sephiroth, Aeris, Cloud, and Barret from FFVII; Squall, Selphie, and Quistis from FFVIII; and the mistress of the household- Terra Bradford from FFIII.  
It was a time of peace, cheese, and pocky... until one day a MYSTEROUS FIGURE approached the household and all hell broke lose... and when I write all hell broke lose I mean worse then normal.  
  
**FOREVER FINAL FANTASY! No need for Pocky! Wait I lied! Part I!**  
  
  
In front of the house, Sephiroth lays half naked... ohhh yeah... in a chair. He wears glasses to cover his beautiful eyes, but mostly to make sure no can see him staring at Aeris who is in water in her soft pink biniki.  
Being the pervert that most villains are, Sephiroth is dreaming of seeing naughter bits of Aeris when a looming shadow approaches.  
Oblivious to everyone that is running around, even the cloak figure who stands before him waving its arms, Sephiroth continues to sing "Touch me softly" and stare at Aeris.  
  
MYSTEROUS FIGURE: greetings Sephiroth  
Sephiroth: O_o Hi...person?  
MYSTEROUS FIGURE: Are you not glad to see me?  
Sephiroth: um, who are you?  
MYSTEROUS FIGURE: Rinoa  
Sephiroth: O_o?  
'MYSTEROUS FIGURE' Rinoa: I star in Final Fantasy FFVIII...  
  
all your pocky belong are us  
Sephiroth: -_- -mutters- great.. another air head in the crew...  
-Selphie walks out-  
Selphie: kay! -hands everyone lemonade-  
Rinoa: do not insult me... I have the power of Hi-C cherry flavor juice because of me being a Sorceress!  
Selphie: Well I have ECTO-COOLER!  
Kuja: You go girlfriend!  
Barret: Ungawa! Black Powa! Yo momma don't take a showa!  
Rinoa: I also have the power of... a talk show host! MAHHAAHAHJAHAH! JERRY SPRINGER WILL KICK MR.T's ASS AND DESTROY YOUTH CENTERS EVERYWHERE!  
Squall: actually that WAS kind of stupid to say... -looks depressed and continues to hack at his wrists-  
Cloud: I like to soak my underpants in jello-y-goodness...  
ALL: ...  
Selphie: I -will- kill you!   
Quistis: Deary I think she is like a god or a goddess or like Jesus or something  
Selphie: SO!? I have the silver imperium crystal...  
Terra: No you don't... That's from Sailormoon... damn Americans...  
Selphie: ....UN-BOOYKA! That's super-duper bad!  
Kuja: We have them Captain! Full law suit away!  
Cloud: ... lawyers have a habbit of licking small children in the nickle...  
Rinoa: Um... -pats Cloud on the head- Behold the power of Sorceress! The power to DESTROY GOD!  
-raises hands into the hair-   
-Rinoa summons Guardian Force 1.800.CALL.LEE-  
-random lawyer LEE appears-  
Cloud: CID IS WASHU!!!! MAWAAHASDAAHSGASGAFA!  
Terra: ::scratches head:: what is going on?  
Aeris: All I can fathom to say is...purple  
Sephiroth: I want my mommy!!!!  
Kuja: Hey...  
Sephhiroth: You're not my mom!!  
Aeris: Get out of here, Micheal Jackson!  
Kuja: Yo...-tries to act black-  
Squall: ... all this homely goodness is making me ill...  
  
  
meanwhile... in another fic...   
Vincent- Oh, its alright! Its the least I can do since you did let us move in and since you've been just the perfect hostess.  
Iflana- (Teary-eyed) That't the best compliment I've ever received. IN MY OPINION, I THINK VINCENT SHOULD BE AERIS' BRIDEGROOM! (Cloud nearby, is smashed below a large stone idol of Sephiroth, why of Sephiroth, nobody knows)  
Vincent- (Sasami taking complete control again. Clasping his hands to his cheeks) ^_^ Did you hear that Cloud? I can't believe it! I'm getting married to Aeris!  
  
Now... back to my fic!   
  
Quistis: do I still get the cheese?  
Rinoa: NO! The cheese is mine!  
Quistis: resistance is futile... the cheese will be assimulated...  
-Sephiroth is chasing down a bunny rabbit-  
Sephiroth: HERE BUNNY! I nEeD yOuR pOwEr! MoThEr cAlLs Us!!!  
Aeris: BUNNY! awwww!  
Kuja: ::throws a brick at the bunny::  
Cloud: YOU SADIST! BUNNIES ARE CUTE!!!  
Kuja: Sorry, but I am Sephiroth's bastard son... it runs in the family  
Sephiroth: -throws himself on the bunny... after that it's not pretty-  
Barret: -runs in- I -i -i think I'm pregent....  
Aeris: that's impossible!  
Terra: for humans... Barret's not human. He's video game character.  
Rinoa: Barret, my son! -hugs him- congrats!  
Cloud: Barret is a brother!  
Selphie: No he's not!  
Cloud: YEAH! He's Micheal Jackson's bitch!  
Kuja: ... I have a bitch?! -looks excited, then realizes its Barret and cries-  
Barret: there are no blacks in the video game world!... only cheese sticks!  
Terra: I have a brother... his name is Bob Von Weasal Dog...  
Quistis: ... is that not distrubing...  
Rinoa: can we all get back to me now?!  
Aeris: Can we dress you up Rinoa? PLEASE!?  
Selphie: I'll get the dollar store bows!!  
Barret: I'll get the barbie makeup!  
Seifer: Can I play too?  
Aeris: no because you are _the gay_...  
Barret: Seifer is _the gay_?! -screams like a girl-  
Aeris: he's the reason I'm dead!  
Sephiroth: actually I am...  
Aeris: kiss off! -smashes him with a mallet-  
Rinoa: -makes a break for it-  
Seifer: Rinoa, you dyke! You took my powers away!  
Terra: So what? You'd still be a wuss  
Seifer: yeah but my powers including a hot tight shirt and a more bishonen look.   
Seifer Fans: YOU BITCH!!!!!  
Rinoa: I DID FOR THE YURI FANS!  
Quistis: -giggles- me and Rinoa...  
Terra: perv...  
Otaku: ::maul Rinoa::  
-Rinoa poofs like all enemies in FF-  
-all strike a victory pose to tacky music-  



End file.
